It seems like everybody (and their mothers) likes to make New Year’s Resolutions – many will fall into a special class that I like to call “Resolutioners”. The majority of these Resolutioners need to be handled with care. Well, at least they need to dealt with cautiously.

I can all but guarantee that you either know a Resolutioner or have been one yourself. If you have ever belonged to a gym or fitness club then I will up that to an absolute guarantee (ever notice all the new faces in the beginning of January?)

So what is it then that makes the Resolutioner so dangerous? Simple, most resolutioners become toxic. Let me explain.

For ease and simplicity I will use the fitness example but you will certainly see how this can be applied in just about any resolution situation.

Let’s take the resolutioner who on January first announces to the world their wonderful intention that they will finally become physically fit during the course of the new year. Whatever it takes – they will do it. (And this is great – really it is.) But the resolutioner likes to take it a step further and they climb upon their soap box and as the self appointed king/queen of the fitness movement, they like to dictate how you and everyone around them should follow suit.

While urging people to get in shape isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it is the holier-than-thou attitude that sets the resolutioner apart. Having this new found wealth of knowledge bestowed upon them – after all they have been fitness gurus for all of five minutes now – they will profess all the important “do’s and don’ts” of the healthy lifestyle upon you.

An interesting thing may actually happen. There’s a good chance that you will get sucked into their “movement”. You may even find yourself getting a bit excited about it.

Okay, great. You are now “in” and you too want to be part of the fitness movement. You and the resolutioner are actually going to do this. This year will be different. (This is a good thing. But where’s the toxicity? I’ll get to it, I promise.)

Great! But here’s the problem. What you didn’t realize is that all the pomp-and-circumstance that the resolutioner was spewing was not being done to encourage you to do something great but rather because they needed to validate their resolution to themselves and it was for their benefit, not yours.

In the beginning this may be okay because the message being sent is positive. But what happens when the third week of January hits and the resolutioner has already given up? (Sounds fast doesn’t it – but again, if you’ve belonged to a gym then you’ve seen it.) They are back to eating fast food and ice cream and those positive messages that were thrown down from the soap box are all of a sudden toxic barbs. The, “Why should we do that’s” and the “What’s the point anyway’s.”

The problem is that you have staked your goal, your participation, your resolution on their ride and now there is a good chance that you might just continue to follow along.

So what’s the best way to protect yourself from a resolutioner? It’s the same advice I give to anyone who wants more out of life: BE THE LEADER!

You see, when you lead – you know where you are going. You know what it takes to get there and most importantly, what they naysayers say doesn’t mean a thing.

Figure out what you want and go after it. Don’t force it upon everyone else – let them choose their course. Set your sights and identify your goals. You can do it!

To your success,